4 posts tagged “music”
I soo thought I was way over and way past this until I heard the news on the Tom Joyner morning show this morning......*laughing at the thought of my next sentence*....The Godfather Of Soul....James Brown...Is NOT IN THE GROUND YET!.......*Falls Off Chair*!!
It appears that there are some estate issues that are holding up burial. For cryin out loud!! They changed that man's suit four times while they paraded his dead ass across the country. Talk about all dressed up and no place to go for real! That's like saying you're going to an exclusive party, getting all dressed up...going to the Price Chopper so everyone sees you then going back home. Literally!
I said literally because *breaks in laughter again* James Brown's body is being stored in a guarded, climate control room of his house while his family figures out this madess! I am so beside myself that I can hardly maintain. I think when the preached about a James Brown homegoing...they were talking about the afterlife, not South Carolina! WTF are these people thinking.....ohhh SNAP! I know! They are arging over who gets that gold coffin! See, at some point I knew that was going to cause major difficulty in one way or another....ha ha ha
James Brown's home has been locked since days after his death. The media says it was to protect his memorbilia. Brown's attorney, Buddy Dallas said:
"Just imagine what would have happened," Dallas said. "Items of James Brown would have left there like items off the shelves of Macy's in an after-Christmas sale."
That, too, is pretty fuckin funny since Brown died early Christmas morning....lol @ his house being an after Christmas sale. What he's not totally telling though is that the house was locked to keep his "wife" Tommy Hynie out of the house while they figure out if she was even legally married to him or not. I have noticed that the media now refers to her as Jame's "partner". Lawdhavemercy.
If it's not bad enough, there's a gold digger in the woodpile. It seems that last year, a woman had filed legal action against James Brown for a rape that supposedly happened 20 years ago. Not trying to sound insensitive, as the statute of limitations on rape and sexual assult in many states is way too short but 20 years? This is like a sober person fighting a drunk, talk about an unfair advantage? Taking a dead man to court over something that happened 20 years ago...it's not like he can testify on his own behalf and be adequately cross examined! Talk about a drama queen? She's been reported as saying:
"As a rape victim, I will never get to face him in court, and it hurts," she said. "But we are moving forward. We filed against his organization, as well as him. So now his organization stands in front of him."
In her lawsuit, the woman said Brown raped her at gunpoint in 1988 while she was his publicist. She seeks $106 million in damages. This case was already tossed out by a Federal Appeals court in August, she's requesting that the Supreme Court hear the case.
All I know is that I will be undone, overdone, outdone and indone if the court has to order the burial of James Brown. His will has not even been filed yet as of the last report that I read. I know James is singing "Please, Please, Please......."
One last time, Aretha! Tell me you are taking notes. When it's your time to go, all I want to be able to write is what a legend you were and how they had trouble getting your whole dress in the coffin......ok?
I know that to make fun of the dead is tacky but I think that if I can make fun of them while they are living that there is plenty of room for me NOT to be a hypocrite and keep my behavior consistent. Yeah, those who know me, know where I'm going......I wish they would get James Brown's body in the ground...the day to day reports of wakes, memorials and other social gatherings is providing me way too much comedic material.
I read on Yahoo news this morning about James Brown's body being driven from Georgia to lay in repose at the Apollo theater in New York. Driven? Why? Because they left too late for James to make the last flight out. This is one time that James Brown can blame someone else for his being on CPT (If you don't know wht CPT is..ask. Someone will be glad to tell you I'm sure).....hell the man is DEAD it's safe to assume that if there are time management issues, they are not his fault.
As if the notion of the Godfather of Soul being driven half way across the country, in a casket in the back of a van is not bad enough, to find out that the chauffeur is no other than Al Sharpton was enough to make me spit out my coffee and trust me, I love my morning coffee. Now the quote from the news story read
"The Rev. Al Sharpton, Brown's close friend, raced through the night in a van with the casket to make sure the late singer did not miss his date."
Raced? In addition to Brown's "last performance" at the Apollo, did he want to insure that Brown also received his "last ticket" along with his "last mugshot"? A man of the cloth, breakin the speed barrier (visions of Sharpton's perm blowin in the wind) to get a dead man to his last performance on time...I can't possibly be the only one who finds humor in that visual. A weekend at Bernies.....In Living Color style...ha!
Brown's body was taken through the streets of Harlem in a horse drawn carriage to begin three days of wakes (they can get the horse and buggy together but can't get the man to the airport...smh). THREE! Now look. People are supposed to rest in peace when they die. Brown engages on a legal battle, memorial in Augusta Georgia, road trip from hell then to be laid out for three days so people can walk by and stare down in his face.....I think it's wonderful that the public gets the opportunity to pay their respects but a main show and two encores? Get outta here!
The final creme de la creme is that Brown was scheduled to perform at the B.B. King Theater on New Years...he's been replaced by Chaka Khan...lawd have mercy!
I hope Aretha Franklin has her final wishes on paper!
I said that I was NOT going to touch this James Brown thing one more time. I told myself that after my last entry that I would be over this........Al Sharpton wouldn't let me. Nosireeeeee ....
I was on my treadmill and decided to watch the funeral coverage. Now, although I do not like Al as a "civil rights leader" I do like to hear him preach, so I figured that I'd work off some tonage and listen to what Revrund (yeah I know how I spelt it..LOL) Al had to say. I shoulda watched Sesame Street!
I mentioned in my previous blog about how Sharpton had to drive Mista Brown from Georgia to New York because they were on CPT and were not going to make the flight. Welp, when I heard WHY I about fell off the treadmill.
It seems that the children of James Brown had decided that their father should spend eternity in a solid gold casket......the average ticket price for such a thing is about $22,000.00.....twenty-two thousand dollars. So the funeral director ordered it. It was not going to arrive on time for the last flight out of Georgia however, it was a must. 30 people offered the services of their private plane but the weight of the casket surpassed the weight requirements for commercial let alone private planes.
I am sooo trying to stay away from some cultural stereotypes about certain people overspending for funerals......my mother had a phrase for it that I will choose to keep to myself but she was absolutely correct! Did someone not tell these kids that that solid gold casket was going in the ground and that it could not be pawned later for cash? Hell, I'm sure the IRS may very well be at the internment counting it as an estate asset.
When it was discovered that the casket was to heavy to fly, Sharpton decided that they would have to just drive him to New York. Ohhh Kay! At this point, how else was James going to make it there? I doubt very seriously that a dead man in a gold casket could lean on the side of the highway and thumb a ride. So, the road trip that I found amusing in and of itself early is just KILLIN me now. We NOW have The Godfather of Soul, in a solid gold casket, in the back of a cargo van being driven by Al Sharpton....a team of comedy writers could not come up with better dish than this! Thank gawd that horse drawn carriage was on time.....as on time as one can be for a body that's three hours late for its own wake......for cryin out loud.
Sharpton said that he didn't mind doing it because this "would not be the first time James Brown kept me up all night". Nice job rev.
While the body is being toted all over the country in grand splendor, Spike Lee is already on board for a Viacom production to be made about James Brown. Hmm I wonder if they'll let me play James in the movie...that will make as much sense as any of the rest of this has. That's for sure.
Somebody get James in the ground.....I'm tired of writing.
I'm sure that at this point, everyone and their momma knows that we lost James Brown over the Christmas Holiday. Before you think I'm entirely heartless, you have to understand my theory about death. Grief is a selfish emotion reserved for the living. The dead feel no grief and in most cases, people live their lives right for what they perceive to be what happens to them when it's time to go home. Ha! My disclaimer on death....
Now, James Brown is no stranger to legal troubles. He's faced everything from legally broke, sexual harassment to battery and a few other minor misdoings. Hell, you could become an avid collector of James Brown mug shots if you wanted to and stay pretty damn busy. However, even from the other side of the dirt.....James will find himself in a legal battle of sorts. As of right now, the legal marital status of James Brown is unknown. I know huh? How messed up is that?
It seems that when Brown married his 4th wife, Tomy Raye Hynie, she had filed for her marriage to another man to be annulled. However, the annulment had not been finalized prior to her marriage to Brown. Once the annulment was final, Brown and Hynie never "remarried" to make things offical, so now, it appears that James Brown was actually single at the time of his death.
What's really jacked up about this is that Hynie has now been locked out of all the marital properties and has no right to personal properties that had she been legally married, would have had full access to, pending the investigation. Jump back! Makes yah wanna kick yahself huh?
Now, some of you may get really pissed at me for this but as a musician, James Brown was an innovator that inspired many, however, as a person...James needed some work. Not that any of us are perfect but it seems that James could hold a facade better than most.. Here, check this...
When your tributes read like this, you know you're in trouble....
Pete Allman, a Vegas radio personality who credits James Brown with jumpstarting his career says...
"He was a very positive person. There was no question he was the hardest working man in show business," Allman said. "I remember Mr. Brown as someone who always motivated me, got me reading the Bible."
That's nice. Then the article I read says:
"While most of Brown's life was glitz and glitter, he was plagued with charges of abusing drugs and alcohol and of hitting his third wife, Adrienne.
In September 1988, Brown, high on PCP and carrying a shotgun, entered an insurance seminar next to his Augusta office. Police said he asked seminar participants if they were using his private restroom.
Police chased Brown for a half-hour from Augusta into South Carolina and back to Georgia. The chase ended when police shot out the tires of his truck.
Brown received a six-year prison sentence. He spent 15 months in a South Carolina prison and 10 months in a work release program before being paroled in February 1991. In 2003, the South Carolina parole board granted him a pardon for his crimes in that state."
I guess James didn't know Karate...he knew K-Razy for real!
I made the joke over the holiday about James Brown not being able to write his own eulogy....Jump Up...Out The Box...Hayyyyy....!
Yanno...let me quit.
Have a great day!
